Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Remember when you had your face lifted... and the guy brought it back.
It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.
My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, "Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year."
She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.