Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?

I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.

What an orchestra! They just sit there, but their minds are thousands of miles away with their bookies.

I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.

My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.

My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run mine.

My brother applied for work, but was told by the company that it had more employees than it needed. My brother said, "Don't worry. The little bit of work I do won't be noticed !!!"