Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?

It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!

You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.

A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, "Who Should we notify in case of an accident?" He mulls it over and then writes, "Anybody in sight!"

One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.

My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.