Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.
Jews don't drink much because it interferes with their suffering.
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
The last time I saw Marilyn was in late 1959, when I appeared in Let's Make Love at Fox. The wide-eyed Marilyn I had first known was gone. This Marilyn was more beautiful than ever.
Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife.
Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.