I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.
I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.
You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?
A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.