You look like a normal person, if you can find a normal person who wants to look like that.

Most attorneys practice law because it gives them a grand and glorious feeling. You give them a grand - and they feel glorious.

What an orchestra! They just sit there, but their minds are thousands of miles away with their bookies.

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting.

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife.

I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!

Laughter is the best medicine in the world.