Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife.

It's always consoling to know that today's Christmas gifts are tomorrow's garage sales.

I bought a Christmas tree for twenty dollars. When I came home the next day, my wife was wearing it in her hair.

I wanted to get the guy who works next to me in the office something he really wants, but how do you wrap up a saloon?

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.

What an orchestra! They just sit there, but their minds are thousands of miles away with their bookies.

Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list