Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.
I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting.
I bought my mother-in-law a beautiful chair for Christmas, but she won't let me plug it in.
I live to laugh, and I laugh to live.
If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?
Remember when you had your face lifted... and the guy brought it back.