I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!

In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.

Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.

I like to think of myself as the middleman between Fred Allen and Henny Youngman.

All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.

A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.

At the Christmas party, the secretary with the long red hair ate three pickles, and four salesmen panicked.