If you hire relatives, you'll have a payroll that won't quit.
I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.
Jews don't drink much because it interferes with their suffering.
Radio... that wonderful invention by which I can reach millions of people... who fortunately can't reach me.
A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!
Our local department store had two Santas - one for regular kids and one for kids who wanted ten toys or less.