Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.
I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.
Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?
I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
Jews don't drink much because it interferes with their suffering.
Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.