I really doubt whether evolution ever works, how then come Mothers have only two hands

Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.

My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, "Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year."

Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.