Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.

Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list

Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together

One of those Christmas songs says, "You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout." How's my wife going to get along?

It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry.

It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!