Every year my boss used to give me a bottle of expensive brandy because I'd told him that my doctor suggested a drink once in a while. This year my boss gave me the name of a new doctor.

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

I don't date women my age. There aren't any.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

One of those Christmas songs says, "You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout." How's my wife going to get along?

I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.

It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!