A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

The human brain is special. It starts working as soon as you get up and it doesn't stop until you get to school.

Laughter is the best medicine in the world.

Now that doctors have stopped making house calls, lots of patients now have to die without their help.

Radio... that wonderful invention by which I can reach millions of people... who fortunately can't reach me.

Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?

They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.