Why are we honoring this man? Have we run out of human beings?

My son has a big Christmas problem - what do you buy for a father who has everything and you're using it?

There are a lot of things money can't buy. Not one of them is on my son's list.

At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.

Most attorneys practice law because it gives them a grand and glorious feeling. You give them a grand - and they feel glorious.

My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?

One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.