My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry.
I really doubt whether evolution ever works, how then come Mothers have only two hands
You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
My sister-in-law found a real surprise in her stockings - my brother.
An adult western is where the hero still kisses his horse at the end, only now he worries about it.