A thing of beauty is a job forever.

What an orchestra! They just sit there, but their minds are thousands of miles away with their bookies.

One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.

A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, "Who Should we notify in case of an accident?" He mulls it over and then writes, "Anybody in sight!"

Some kids want to know why the teachers get paid when it's the kids who have to do all the work.

A man is hit by a car while crossing a Beverly Hills street. A woman rushes to him and cradles his head in her lap, asking, Are you comfortable? The man answers, I make a nice living.

The only thing that can break a piece of Valentine candy is another piece of Valentine candy.