One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.

I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.

Laughter is an instant vacation.

Valentine's Day is the day when you remember that Cupid was a lousy shot.

I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?

My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.

I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.