One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.

At the Christmas party, the secretary with the long red hair ate three pickles, and four salesmen panicked.

My wife wants something foreign for Christmas - like a Mexican divorce.

I bought my kid an educational toy to help him make it through life. No matter how you put it together, it's wrong.

War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.

It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.

I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.