I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.

A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, "Who Should we notify in case of an accident?" He mulls it over and then writes, "Anybody in sight!"

I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.

In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.

He was such a bad writer, they revoked his poetic license.

My wife sent me a Valentine card that said, "Take my heart, take my lips, take my soul." That's just like her. She kept the good parts for herself.

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.