In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.

Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.

If you hire relatives, you'll have a payroll that won't quit.

I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.

I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?

For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.

Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.