You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.

They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.

Anytime a person goes into a delicatessen and orders a pastrami on white bread, somewhere a Jew dies.

Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.

Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together

I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.