Jews don't drink much because it interferes with their suffering.
My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry.
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
My son has a big Christmas problem - what do you buy for a father who has everything and you're using it?
My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.
In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.