I like to think of myself as the middleman between Fred Allen and Henny Youngman.
Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?
It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!
Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife.
She was nice to him on Valentine's Day. She gave him a heart-shaped rash.
This man's wife told him, "For Christmas, surprise me." On Christmas Eve he leaned over where she was sleeping and said, "Boo!"