We inherit a lot from our parents: mom's eyes, dad's chin, and the attitude of whichever parent isn't punishing you at the moment. All of those things we have our mom's to thank for."If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?"

Our local department store had two Santas - one for regular kids and one for kids who wanted ten toys or less.

I live to laugh, and I laugh to live.

The only thing that can break a piece of Valentine candy is another piece of Valentine candy.

In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.

I'd rather be a could-be if I cannot be an are; because a could-be is a maybe who is reaching for a star. I'd rather be a has-been than a might-have-been, by far; for a might have-been has never been, but a has was once an are.

It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!