If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.

I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.

I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.

At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.

Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.

My sister-in-law found a real surprise in her stockings - my brother.