If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

She wanted an Italian sports car - with the sport still in it.

Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list

This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing!

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.

At the Christmas party, the secretary with the long red hair ate three pickles, and four salesmen panicked.

I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.