Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

A thing of beauty is a job forever.

It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.

My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.

My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.