When I was in school, one of my teachers was crazy about me. I once heard her tell another teacher, "I wish he was my kid for one day!"
I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.
You look like a normal person, if you can find a normal person who wants to look like that.
He was such a bad writer, they revoked his poetic license.
I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.
I wanted to get the guy who works next to me in the office something he really wants, but how do you wrap up a saloon?