My sister-in-law found a real surprise in her stockings - my brother.

My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, "Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year."

Poverty is not a disgrace, but it's terribly inconvenient.

Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.

Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?

I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.

I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.