I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
Laughter is the best medicine in the world.
Marriage is one of the few institutions that allow a man to do as his wife pleases.
I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!
A thing of beauty is a job forever.
My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry.