I don't date women my age. There aren't any.
Valentine's Day is the day when you remember that Cupid was a lousy shot.
In Washington, a man gets up to speak and doesn't say a thing, and the other men disagree with him for three hours.
My son asked for very little - a kickstand, with a motorcycle attached.
We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.
I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.