The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
I don't date women my age. There aren't any.
A thing of beauty is a job forever.
My wife sent me a Valentine card that said, "Take my heart, take my lips, take my soul." That's just like her. She kept the good parts for herself.
My son has a big Christmas problem - what do you buy for a father who has everything and you're using it?