At the Christmas party, the secretary with the long red hair ate three pickles, and four salesmen panicked.

This man's wife told him, "For Christmas, surprise me." On Christmas Eve he leaned over where she was sleeping and said, "Boo!"

We inherit a lot from our parents: mom's eyes, dad's chin, and the attitude of whichever parent isn't punishing you at the moment. All of those things we have our mom's to thank for."If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?"

At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.

One of those Christmas songs says, "You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout." How's my wife going to get along?

In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.

I really doubt whether evolution ever works, how then come Mothers have only two hands