If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.

If you hire relatives, you'll have a payroll that won't quit.

This man's wife told him, "For Christmas, surprise me." On Christmas Eve he leaned over where she was sleeping and said, "Boo!"

My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay.

I gave my wife a twenty-five-dollar gift certificate. She used it as a down payment on a mink coat.

My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.

Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?