I bought my son an indestructible toy. Yesterday he left it in the driveway. It broke my car.

I bought my son a bat for Christmas. On New Year's it flew away.

An adult western is where the hero still kisses his horse at the end, only now he worries about it.

I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.

In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.

My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.

You're aging when your actions creak louder than your words.