They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.

I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.

The only thing that can break a piece of Valentine candy is another piece of Valentine candy.

The human brain is special. It starts working as soon as you get up and it doesn't stop until you get to school.

You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.

Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?

Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.