They've finally come up with the perfect office computer. If it makes a mistake, it blames another computer.

One teacher recently retired with a half-million dollars after 30 years of working hard, caring, dedicating herself and totally immensing herself in the problems of the students. That gave her $50. The rest of the money came from the death of a rich uncle.

The problem with life is, by the time you can read women like a book, your library card has expired.

My brother applied for work, but was told by the company that it had more employees than it needed. My brother said, "Don't worry. The little bit of work I do won't be noticed !!!"

One of those Christmas songs says, "You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout." How's my wife going to get along?

Most attorneys practice law because it gives them a grand and glorious feeling. You give them a grand - and they feel glorious.

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife.