My brother applied for work, but was told by the company that it had more employees than it needed. My brother said, "Don't worry. The little bit of work I do won't be noticed !!!"

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.

I made a terrible mistake last Christmas. My wife made me swear that I wouldn't give her a fancy gift. And I didn't.

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting.

The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.