My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, "Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year."

She wanted an Italian sports car - with the sport still in it.

We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.

This is how it is today: The teachers are afraid of the principals. The principals are afraid of the superintendents. The superintendents are afraid of the board of education. The board is afraid of the parents. The parents are afraid of the children. The children are afraid of nothing!

Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.

At Christmas you can get real bargains. I saw one item marked down ten dollars. It was a yacht.