I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife.
He was such a bad writer, they revoked his poetic license.
Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.
The human brain is special. It starts working as soon as you get up and it doesn't stop until you get to school.