I don't worry too much about sex education in the schools. If the kids learn it like they do everything else, they won't know how.

There are a lot of things money can't buy. Not one of them is on my son's list.

Who says we didn't have controversial subjects on TV back in my time? Remember Bonanza? It was about three guys in high heels living together

My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?

It was a tough school. The kids on the debating team took steroids!

In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.

I don't date women my age. There aren't any.