Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.

In the suburbs it's hard to buy your Christmas gifts early in the year. You never know who your friends will be in December.

I know why superman left krypton. Earth was the only place where he could get steriods!

War toys are scary. They have a rocket launcher with a bayonet attached, in case you miss.

A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!

I like to think of myself as the middleman between Fred Allen and Henny Youngman.

My wife wants something foreign for Christmas - like a Mexican divorce.