Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.

My brother applied for work, but was told by the company that it had more employees than it needed. My brother said, "Don't worry. The little bit of work I do won't be noticed !!!"

I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.

Radio... that wonderful invention by which I can reach millions of people... who fortunately can't reach me.

For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.

It's amazing how fast later comes when you buy now!

My wife and I have a perfect understanding. I don't try to run her life, and I don't try to run mine.