Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.

My wife is a real Puritan. She thinks licking the stamp on the envelope of a Valentine is foreplay.

My wife and I were shopping for the whole family. In the music department my wife said, "Let's get your nephew a set of drums. That's what your brother did to us last year."

I feel like Zsa Zsa Gabor's sixth husband. I know what I'm supposed to do, but I don't know how to make it interesting.

My son has a big Christmas problem - what do you buy for a father who has everything and you're using it?

It's rough to go through life with your contents looking as if they settled during shipping.

Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife.