An adult western is where the hero still kisses his horse at the end, only now he worries about it.

I really doubt whether evolution ever works, how then come Mothers have only two hands

For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.

I bought my mother-in-law a beautiful chair for Christmas, but she won't let me plug it in.

He was such a bad writer, they revoked his poetic license.

I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.

Most attorneys practice law because it gives them a grand and glorious feeling. You give them a grand - and they feel glorious.