An adult western is where the hero still kisses his horse at the end, only now he worries about it.

Radio... that wonderful invention by which I can reach millions of people... who fortunately can't reach me.

Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.

An adult western is where the hero still kisses his horse at the end, only now he worries about it.

On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.

My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?

My son has a big Christmas problem - what do you buy for a father who has everything and you're using it?