An adult western is where the hero still kisses his horse at the end, only now he worries about it.

A man falls down a flight of stairs and somebody rushes over to him and asks, Did you miss a step? No, he answers, I hit every one of them!

I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?

A young man fills out an application for a job and does well until he gets to the last question, "Who Should we notify in case of an accident?" He mulls it over and then writes, "Anybody in sight!"

At the Christmas party, the secretary with the long red hair ate three pickles, and four salesmen panicked.

My wife can't figure out what to buy me. What do you give a man who's had everything up to here?

For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.