They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.

My son really has the spirit of Valentine's Day. When he was in college, he used to send his mother a heart-shaped box of laundry.

A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.

Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.

I wanted to get the guy who works next to me in the office something he really wants, but how do you wrap up a saloon?

If you hire relatives, you'll have a payroll that won't quit.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.