Talk about cheap - on Christmas Eve, my neighbour shoots off three blanks and tells his kids Santa Claus just committed suicide.
I like to do things for my wife on Valentine's Day. I open the door for her when she puts laundry in the washing machine.
Our tree was so puny we used orthopedic bulbs.
Remember when you had your face lifted... and the guy brought it back.
A committee is a group that keeps minutes and loses hours.
What an orchestra! They just sit there, but their minds are thousands of miles away with their bookies.