We owe a lot to Thomas Edison - if it wasn't for him, we'd be watching television by candlelight.

For Christmas the just came out with a battery-operated battery. But the batteries aren't included.

The last time I saw Marilyn was in late 1959, when I appeared in Let's Make Love at Fox. The wide-eyed Marilyn I had first known was gone. This Marilyn was more beautiful than ever.

Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.

At the Christmas party, the secretary with the long red hair ate three pickles, and four salesmen panicked.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.

Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?