The last time I saw Marilyn was in late 1959, when I appeared in Let's Make Love at Fox. The wide-eyed Marilyn I had first known was gone. This Marilyn was more beautiful than ever.

At eighty-two, I feel like a twenty-year-old, but, unfortunately, there's never one around.

All my wife wanted for Valentine's Day was a little card - American Express.

We inherit a lot from our parents: mom's eyes, dad's chin, and the attitude of whichever parent isn't punishing you at the moment. All of those things we have our mom's to thank for."If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?"

I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.

Valentine's Day is like Armistice Day - you declare a truce.

Laughter is an instant vacation.