The last time I saw Marilyn was in late 1959, when I appeared in Let's Make Love at Fox. The wide-eyed Marilyn I had first known was gone. This Marilyn was more beautiful than ever.

If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.

I never stole a joke in my life. I just find them before they're lost.

Do you realise that Eve was the only woman who ever took a man's side?

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is.

An adult western is where the hero still kisses his horse at the end, only now he worries about it.

If you hire relatives, you'll have a payroll that won't quit.