The last time I saw Marilyn was in late 1959, when I appeared in Let's Make Love at Fox. The wide-eyed Marilyn I had first known was gone. This Marilyn was more beautiful than ever.

My wife calls our waterbed the Dead Sea.

I have a brother who is afraid to go to sleep, he dreams he's working.

I bought an ideal gift for my mother-in-law - a battery-operated mouth.

Committee - a group of men who keep minutes and waste hours.

I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can't get killed by a blank?

The human brain is special. It starts working as soon as you get up and it doesn't stop until you get to school.