My doctor told me that jogging could add years to my life. I think he was right. I feel ten years older already.
Just remember, golf is flog spelled backwards.
Valentine's Day - a nice holiday because it's the first day of the rest of your wife.
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door, but only as long as it's not visible from the street.
On Valentine's Day, I wired flowers for my mother-in-law, but she found the fuse.
The company accountant is shy and retiring. He's shy a quarter of a million dollars. That's why he's retiring.