I like to think of myself as the middleman between Fred Allen and Henny Youngman.
Santa is having a tough time this year. Last year he deducted eight billion for gifts, and the IRS wants an itemized list
You can lead a man to Congress, but you can't make him think.
Folk who don't know why America is the Land of Promise should be here during an election campaign.
I can't tell you his age, but when he was born the wonder drug was Mercurochrome.
Remember when you had your face lifted... and the guy brought it back.