I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.

There are a lot of things money can't buy. Not one of them is on my son's list.

I live to laugh, and I laugh to live.

Nowadays, when a speaker tells the graduates that the future is theirs--is that a promise or a threat?

Most attorneys practice law because it gives them a grand and glorious feeling. You give them a grand - and they feel glorious.

I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.

He was such a bad writer, they revoked his poetic license.