I take New Years with a grain of salt and three aspirins.

Some kids want to know why the teachers get paid when it's the kids who have to do all the work.

For every studen with a spark of brilliance, there are about ten with ignition trouble.

Sir, I didn't deserve the grade you gave me on this test. Do you know a lower one?

At the Christmas party, the secretary with the long red hair ate three pickles, and four salesmen panicked.

Do you want to feel insecure? Count the number of Christmas cards you sent out, and then count those you received.

I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.