I gave my wife a gift certificate for Christmas. She ran out to exchange it for a bigger size.
They've got plastic Christmas trees now. They're hard to tell from the real aluminum ones.
I just bought a great gift for my boss - a leaky ant farm.
Jews don't drink much because it interferes with their suffering.
Sex at eighty-four is terrific, especially the one in the winter.
I don't mind personal insults, but when you insult the jokes that I tell you're insulting Fred Allen, Bob Hope, Burns and Allen, Trevor McGee and Molly Picon.