Sometimes I get really lonely. Especially when I'm throwing a Frisbee.

I have no problem not listening to the Temptations.

I tried to walk into Target, but I missed. I think the entrance to Target should have people splattered all around.

Y'know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.

I opened-up a yogurt, underneath the lid it said, "Please try again." because they were having a contest that I was unaware of. I thought maybe I opened the yogurt wrong. ...Or maybe Yoplait was trying to inspire me... "Come on Mitchell, don't give up!" An inspirational message from your friends at Yoplait, fruit on the bottom, hope on top.

I wish they made fajita cologne, because that stuff smells good. What's that you're wearing? That's sizzlin'!

I have a "Do Not Disturb" sign on my hotel door. It's time to go to "Don't Disturb". It's been "Do Not" for too long. We should embrace the contraction.