We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.
I went to computer class with my Dell and I was bullied by a guy with a Mac.
When Obama ran, he said, We can change the world! The world: can you change it back?!
If you can't join them, beat them.
In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black. In the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.
A political satirist's job is to draw blood. I'm not so much interested in politics as I am in overthrowing the government.