We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.

A political satirist's job is to draw blood. I'm not so much interested in politics as I am in overthrowing the government.

Bush is the face on the can. But who canned that soup?

Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.

Nixon's the kind of guy that if you were drowning fifty feet off shore, he'd throw you a thirty foot rope. Then Kissinger would go on TV the next night and say that the President had met you more than half-way.

My life needs editing.

A conservative doesn't want anything to happen for the first time; a liberal feels it should happen, but not now.