I used to go out with actresses and other female impersonators.

There are Russian spies here now. And if we're lucky, they'll steal some of our secrets and they'll be two years behind.

The fact is that you can't have a good relationship with a girl who hasn't settled things with her father.

We claim we believe in compassion, which is an abstract, and when it's personified we discredit the man

If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women.

Most people past college age are not atheists. It's too hard to be in society, for one thing. Because you don't get any days off. And if you're an agnostic you don't know whether you get them off or not.

A Yuppie is someone who believes it's courageous to eat in a restaurant that hasn't been reviewed yet.