I used to go out with actresses and other female impersonators.

A conservative is someone who believes in reform. But not now.

If you maintain a consistent political position long enough, you'll eventually be accused of treason.

This matter of two sides to every question is bad logic and bad practice: sometimes there are no sides; sometimes there are a hundred.

Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.

In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black. In the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.

We would have broken up except for the children. Who were the children? Well, she and I were.