If someone were to ask me for a short cut to sensuality, I would suggest he go shopping for a used 427 Shelby-Cobra. But it is only fair to warn you that of the 300 guys who switched to them in 1966, only two went back to women.

Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference.

Professional comedians, surprisingly, have a lack of humor. They're insensitive to the insanity of our times.

My whole life is a movie. It's just that there are no dissolves. I have to live every agonizing moment of it. My life needs editing.

A political satirist's job is to draw blood. I'm not so much interested in politics as I am in overthrowing the government.

There's a danger our fiscal bankruptcy might overtake our moral bankruptcy.

Obama is running again for spite.