This matter of two sides to every question is bad logic and bad practice: sometimes there are no sides; sometimes there are a hundred.

Television is never more false than when it's openly sincere.

I watched Ken Burns' Civil War series on PBS. My favorite segment is when Bob Hope entertains the troops at Gettysburg.

You know me, I love lost causes.

People tell me there are a lot of guys like me, which doesn't explain why I'm lonely.

If anybody comes up to you and says, My kid is a conservative - why is that? you say, Remember in the 60′s when we told you if you kept using drugs your kids would be mutants?

If you maintain a consistent political position long enough, you'll eventually be accused of treason.