Remember when movies were just good or bad, before auteurs, film festivals, and guys from USC who were the first to shoot underwater?

Remember that no matter how selfish, how cruel, how unfeeling you have been today, every time you take a breath, you make a flower happy.

One thing about being narrow-minded: you'll never be lonely.

There's so much Botox around now that you can't tell when a Jewish girl is angry!

I watched Ken Burns' Civil War series on PBS. My favorite segment is when Bob Hope entertains the troops at Gettysburg.

A political satirist's job is to draw blood. I'm not so much interested in politics as I am in overthrowing the government.

Every time the Russians throw an American in jail, the Committee throws an American in jail to get even.