Liberals feel unworthy of their possessions. Conservatives feel they deserve everything they've stolen.
If you can't join them, beat them.
I'm not a liberal, I'm a radical!
The fact is that you can't have a good relationship with a girl who hasn't settled things with her father.
I found people looked better when they laughed
I've arranged with my executor to be buried in Chicago. Because when I die, I want to still remain active politically.