I found people looked better when they laughed

In the forties, to get a girl you had to be a GI or a jock. In the fifties, to get a girl you had to be Jewish. In the sixties, to get a girl you had to be black. In the seventies, to get a girl you've got to be a girl.

I don't think crucifixion is the answer. I believe in the resurrection. I like that part of the story.

There were four million people in the American Colonies and we had Jefferson and Franklin. Now we have over 200 million and the two top guys are Clinton and Dole. What can you draw from this? Darwin was wrong.

You know what I want you to do? I want you to blow out the candle and curse the darkness.

Remember when movies were just good or bad, before auteurs, film festivals, and guys from USC who were the first to shoot underwater?

Reagan won because he ran against Jimmy Carter. If he ran unopposed he would have lost.