If you can't join them, beat them.

The distance between taking social action and having the knowledge is as wide as the mouth of the Mississippi.

Professional comedians, surprisingly, have a lack of humor. They're insensitive to the insanity of our times.

I don't think crucifixion is the answer. I believe in the resurrection. I like that part of the story.

If you were the only person left on the planet, I would have to attack you. That's my job.

A conservative doesn't want anything to happen for the first time; a liberal feels it should happen, but not now.

Most people past college age are not atheists. It's too hard to be in society, for one thing. Because you don't get any days off. And if you're an agnostic you don't know whether you get them off or not.