If you can't join them, beat them.

A political satirist's job is to draw blood. I'm not so much interested in politics as I am in overthrowing the government.

If you maintain a consistent political position long enough, you'll eventually be accused of treason.

Nixon's the kind of guy that if you were drowning fifty feet off shore, he'd throw you a thirty foot rope. Then Kissinger would go on TV the next night and say that the President had met you more than half-way.

We claim we believe in compassion, which is an abstract, and when it's personified we discredit the man

You know me, I love lost causes.

There are Russian spies here now. And if we're lucky, they'll steal some of our secrets and they'll be two years behind.