There's a danger our fiscal bankruptcy might overtake our moral bankruptcy.
Television is never more false than when it's openly sincere.
Washington couldn't tell a lie, Nixon couldn't tell the truth, and Reagan couldn't tell the difference.
A conservative doesn't want anything to happen for the first time; a liberal feels it should happen, but not now.
There's so much Botox around now that you can't tell when a Jewish girl is angry!
Professional comedians, surprisingly, have a lack of humor. They're insensitive to the insanity of our times.